You almost feel for the man... almost.
Michael Jackson is facing a return to the confines of a courtroom as fresh child abuse allegations have crawled their way from his closet.
A 20-year-old from California is claiming that Jackon molested him when he was younger and forced him into undergoing cosmetic surgery. If that doesn't sound far-fetched, how's this: he also claims that Jackson stole ideas for songs from him between 1987 and 1999. In 1987 this man would have been, what? One or two years old? (That said, that could be a typo on the info we have, but still...)
The man's lawyer said: "It is alleged that my client was present at Michael Jackson's residences and other places from the age of two to 14 and was molested many times over the course of those years. There is also an allegation that my client came up with song ideas, lyrics and melodies which were used by Mr Jackson in his records and made an awful lot of money. I have got photos of my client with these red lips just like you see on Mr Jackson and a big old cleft on his chin which he didn't have previously."
The case will go to Orange County Superior Court on Valentine's Day.