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Caesars

39 Minutes of Bliss (in an otherwise meaningless world)

Label: Virgin Release Date: 16/05/2003

4005
sean by Sean Adams May 18th, 2003

“A man with a fork, in a land of soup!” Indeed.

This is what you get if you bung Trail Of Dead mop-tops on a bunch of ‘How Soon Is Now’-addicted garage rock pretenders in a land before Hot Hot Heat. It's not bad. It's got good pop hooks, early on, and kicks like a ramshackled modern day **Clash (minus the politics, obviously!) messing around with synthy thingies. (Gee, I could SO _be_ an A&R man circa 2002!)

“No, I can’t hear nothing cus I’ve got my head stuck in the clouds!” Indeed.

And then it gets a bit sad. Sad like shellsuits and haircuts that Beckham realised looked really silly. If ‘Fun&Games’ was any more Rolling Stones it’d be revolutionary (THIRTY fucken years ago!!!). They run out of lyrics so they harp on: “you’re a young girl and you shouldn’t be out on your own, you’re a young girl and you shouldn’t be out on your own, you’re a young girl and you shouldn’t be out on your own”_ - why do bands do that? I know it's meant to allude to the idea that they’re creepy old men standing in the street, er, singing, but it just don’t make sense.

Think about it. Band enters studio. They can do whatever they wanna do with a song. Yet nine times out of ten it repeats ‘til fade like every other song in their record collection... Fucktards.

At least they're not called THE Caesars, I guess that's one thing in their favour, but hang on...

GAWD! The singing on ‘OutOfMyHands’_ (or “haaah-aah-ands”) isn’t worthy of our demo pile. Producer obviously got bored and desensitized to what sounds good having done a billion other bash-bash-2-3-1 bands. Was nice of mister producer man to drop in the dumm-dumm-dum-ub-ding hip-wiggling guitar hook from the last Girls Aloud single tho.

“I wanna shoot crack, cus you’re never coming back. I wanna sniff glue, cus I can’t get over you!” Learn from these responsible kids, and you too can live in a Hoxton gutter dressed from head to toe in just what Dazed and Confused said you'd wear. At least, years from now, you can impress some girl in a bar and tell 'em you were in the best of a bad bunch of tribute bands circa 2003.

So yeah, another bunch of indie kidz in a land trying to be Detroit via NYC... it'll all be over soon.

Thoughts of the Day: What exactly is the sound of the Noughties? Whatever next, Zeppelin tribute bands?

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