Right then mukkas, was reading Pete Clark's column in the Evening Standard, in which he said that both he and another punter got chucked out of a pub onto the pavement on a cold January day because one had a mobile phone, the other a cigarette, yet the pub was empty.

He continues "The pub has always been, if not a den of iniquity, then at least a place where a certain level of tolerance prevailed. Now, they are clean as whistles and a whole stained culture is under threat..."

And I suddenly realised that, being a smoker, I haven't been to the pub for an after-work pint for MONTHS. I have also noticed that I have lost lots of weight. BUT do you know what I've been enjoying instead? Going home, and skinning up a nice big BIFTAH. Sometimes my mates come round too and we watch South Park and laugh.

Now, my theory is that as human beings we need an escape, we need our freedom, and if we find our habits impaired we'll simply go elsewhere.

I'm wondering how many people have gone for this rather pleasant, cheap, and slimming alternative to supping lager with middle-class modern parents and their little Tarquins having din-dins at the local All Bar One Atmosphere?

And you know what? As soon as I realised what habitually has been happening, the f@ckin twats in Westminster re-classify gear to a class B!!

They must have seen some survey that the YOOF are now more at risk of staying at home and getting battered on funky drugs than socialising with their cuntish peers. "What shall we do Quentin?" "Oooh Tristan, we must reclassify that horrible weed to keep the chavs from revolting."

Anyone else experinced the phenomenon of Post-Pub Laws Caner Syndrome or am I just a freak?

VIVA LA REVOLUTION!