i can seee it now

a crack den slash shooting alley,
it is daytime but it is dark
the floor is crunchy

"when I was in the Libertines..."

asks producer if the kids can turn down the incessant trance music

"WHEN I was in the Libertines..."

asks producer if the kids can turn off the music
*music is stopped*

calmly

"when I was fucking Kate Moss...."

one kid unpeels eyelid and looks up

"me and Kate...."

kid holds Pete's stare momentarily, then slumps

"Kate said to me, You aren't worthless Pete, you can do ennyfink you want, (sly wink) including me, lover, if you think little Pete is up to it...."

kid dies of boredom. and heroin.

Pete turns to manager, who in this version is Grant Mitchell, and says

"I fink that went alright, dinnit..."

Pete picks up dead kid's needle and settles in for the (fort)night

credits roll

Channel 4 goes off air briefly then cuts to an episode of Friends, (The One Where Monica Is Caught Without Toilet Paper And Dies Of Shame)