Werther's Original:

They taste like licking the inside of a warm margerine tub. And their haughty toity bullshit 'family values' marketing campaign is both patronising and offensive. It paints an outdated picture of a patriarchal family structure which, by implication, excludes those in homosexual relationships and from which women are curiously absent. If my grandfather had bounced me on his knee and given me 'butter candy' I've have spat it in his lap and demanded a mars bar.

now you go.