Fucking hell, that'll fucking teach me to listen to the fucking recommendations of my fucking mates who watch nothing but awful Japanese fucking horror/gore movies.

What's fucking worse is that I fucking sat through the entire fucking thing like the fucking idiot that I am, burying my head in my hands every fucking time some wanker somersaulted over a group of claw-weilding French dandies before cutting them up in some of the most jaw-dropping tedious and unconvincing fight sequences since the first series of fucking Buffy The Fucking Vampire Slayer, the cunt, and challenging myself to turn the TV off with every fucking bit of bullet-time nonsense that it shat out ("how about The Matrix, but, y'know, a bit different?" "OUI!").

Can I tell a film to fuck off? Let's try it.

Fuck off, Brotherhood of the Wolf.

Fuck right off.