1) Why is BBC1 considered the bigger draw than BBC2? I assume everyone has both, so why are programmes considered to have graduated to the BIG TIME when they reach BBC1? Is it too hard for some people to press the other button on their remote control?

2) Roughly how many people, per day, do that sheepish 'I didn't want that one anyway' slow-down-to-a-walk-from-a-full-pelt-run thing when the bus they're running for pulls away without them on, rather than throwing things at the bus and roaring loudly, as they should?

3) Just how hard is it to get a bunch of six people in one place on one day? Stop having plans, you massive trumpets.

4) Why the hell has my flatmate nicked the shower gel, leaving me to use one of those handwash things for my entire body, leaving me smelling of purple?

5) Does the woman who works in WHSmith fancy me, or am I just kidding myself?

6) Is there some sort of 'R&B' song out at the moment sampling Stand By Me by Ben E King? I'm sure I've heard about four cars pumping this out over the past week.

7) Maybe I should just start a blog or something for all of these sorts of ponderences.

8) Why does no-one in my office understand the concept of milky tea? Uncouth fools.