I will be the only person in my office. I asked if I could have the day off cos it's going to be fucking grim but apparently I must be here 'to answer the phone'. I estimate that I will be able to effectively deal with 10% (optimistically) of queries I may receive.

I will spend the entire rest of the day basically making excuses and saying that the person the caller wanted to speak to is on leave for another week.

What shall I do for vengeance?