Good idea, eh? Get away from the stresses and strains of being scared shitless every September by heading off to spider-free zones. Australia possibly not an option. Greenland should be cold enough to freeze the little bastards.

My parents' house is usually infested with the buggers in September but when I went to visit for a couple of days I didn't see a single one. Walked around like I was in a movie like Alien - waiting for them all to pounce in a multi-legged bundle of wriggling death.

Geckos do exactly the same fly-munching job in warmer climes and look like funky mini dinosaurs. Why Britain couldn't have got warm-blooded geckos is always on my mind when I'm desperately trying to splat an evil scuttling deathbug with a hefty book.