So matey boy from the other side of the office goes across to the bakers for a sausage roll. I throw him a pound, and ask him to get me one as well.

A couple of minutes later, there's a call. It's him. 'They've got no sausage rolls left, what do you want?'

'Something simlilar, some sort of slice or something, yeah? Pastry and meat, essentially. Use your imagination'.

He comes back, with 35p change and a bag containing a sugar-coated biscuit that, on biting, contains a massive congealed lump of raisins.

I am NOT AMUSED. What sort of idiotic mind thinks that a biscuit is in any way related to a steak slice, or a sausage roll, OR ANYTHING NICE. What a twunt.