I'm now doing Film Studies (stop laughing) at AS, to give me another grade. It was the least retard subject available, if you can believe that.
But anyway, there's only four other people in the class: very quiet girls.
There's one, and she's large, and very Burnley: dead eyes, mouth-breathing. She's not that stupid though.

We had to write a short plot summary for an imaginary film of our choice. It could be anything. She wrote her's about 'black people rebelling' and 'enslaving all the whites'. The white people then had to battle for freedom in a war.

When the teacher was reading it out, and saying it was unnacceptable, I was almost exploding internally with laughter, trying to hide it from this chubby girl who took her story massively seriously.

Also: you know what's really annoying? How loads of people seem to have some dislike for grey squirrels. We have a couple in the garden, and me and my mum think they're great. But the neighbours and stuff are like: "They bloody came and pushed out all our red squirrels, who deserve to be here. They're filthy foreign vermin and you should kill them."

Do you think we should kill them all because they're not English? They steal bird's eggs apparently, too - cute birds' eggs.