I went out with work for some fun drinks tonight. On leaving, I was walking along Waterloo Bridge, and I stopped to admire my favourite view in London, and have a cigarette. Absent-mindedly, I noticed that there was some crap on my white shoes, so I put my foot on the ledge, and bent down to rub it off.

A middle-aged man came up to me, and said 'Don't do it!' I laughed. He said, 'no, seriously, don't throw yourself off the bridge'. His friend looked embarrassed. I explained to him that no, I was not going to throw myself off the bridge. He demanded to know where I'd been, and who with. I told him with workmates, and he asked where I worked, and to see my work badge. Still laughing, I showed him my work badge, although why working for a government commission would mean I'm not going to kill myself, I don't know. Anyway, while his friend tried to drag him away, he kept insisting that I was going to throw myself off a bridge, and that he was going to save me.

I got quite annoyed by this point, and told him to piss off. He was quite obviously being drunk, and being a dick. He then got out his police badge, and told me it was his JOB to save me from jumping off the bridge.

I have lost my faith in the British police service somewhat. I felt totally, bizarrely, harrassed! At least his police friend had the good grace to look mortified.