My parents have gone away for their first holiday/time alone together since I was born. I have been left in charge to make sure my brother doesn't throw a skins party and trash the place (unlikely, all he does is play WoW).

Now I lived out through uni, and have only just returned home after a year of living in Fulham. Yet I seem incompetent in my own home.

My mum bought loads of food. AND PUT IT ALL IN THE FREEZER! I'm no good at defrosting stuff, so the take away boxes are mounting up.

I accidentally turned off all the power when taking my shoes out to go to work, leaving my brother without electricity for 10 hours

There are empty beer and cider cans everywhere.

Last night my brother spilt curry on his shirt, and had an interview the next day. We had no more washing tablets and it was late. I found some Stain Devil and poured it on. But I thought it was a liquid and all this powder fell on it, and the stain went bright pink. Then I found some vanish, but it didn't really work because I didn't read it and it was carpet cleaner. Eventually I just made a cocktail of household products and soaked it in them. The stain's gone, but my brother's skin has probably fallen off.

I'm 23, I thought I was competent! But instead I can't sleep because I'm either A having nightmares about World War 1 or B scared because if someone breaks in, I have to deal with it.

I'm so pathetic