Yesterday I was just settling down to some nice brown bread that my mother-in-law had baked of a Sunday morning. I shooed the cat away so I could sit down. I then picked my plate up and sat down. On the cat. Next thing I know the cat has its teeth in my back and is hissing like a swan at a pantomime.

I was about to commit summary justice upon the cat when my mother-in-law stopped me. I am now having bad dreams.