Peter Snow sings very low
Mark Barano is a soprano
and John Kettley
John Kettley
John Kettley
Is a weatherman

John Kettley is a weatherman
a weatherman
a weatherman
John Kettley is a weatherman
and so is Michael Fish

Simon Parkin's always larking
Eric Lane is the same
Jonathan Ross collects moss
and John Kettley
John Kettley
John Kettley
Is a weatherman

John Kettley is a weatherman
a weatherman
a weatherman
John Kettley is a weatherman
and so is Michael Fish

Lester Piggot couldn't dig it
David Icke rides a bike
Richard Keys has got no knees
and John Kettley
John Kettley
John Kettley
is a weatherman

John Kettley is a weatherman
a weatherman
a weatherman
John Kettley is a weatherman
and so is Michael Fish

Ladies and gentlemen, Mr Motch Bondouché and his amazing cheese and pickle solo

John Kettley
John Kettley
John Kettley
Is a weatherman

John Kettley is a weatherman
a weatherman
a weatherman
John Kettley is a weatherman
and so is Michael Fish

Debbie Thrower's got a lawnmower
Johnny Marr, he plays guitar
David Steele lives in Keele
and John Kettley
John Kettley
John Kettley
Is a weatherman

John Kettley is a weatherman
a weatherman
a weatherman
John Kettley is a weatherman
and so is Michael Fish

Chuck Knox has blue socks
Andy Crane has got no brain
Bernard Davy left the navy
and John Kettley
John Kettley
John Kettley
Is a weatherman

John Kettley is a weatherman
a weatherman
a weatherman
John Kettley is a weatherman
and so is Michael Fish
and so is Billy Giles
and so is Ian McGaskill
so is Wincy Willis

I imagine easy 24-7 access to songs such as this is exactly what Tim Berners-Lee had in mind when he legged it down the patent office.