Everything was going so well until I got off the bus!

I got off and walked to a crossing. The light turned red, and the green man popped up so I crossed. This guy on a bike was careening towards me and goes flying through the red light but I was in no danger of being hit.

On the other side, tottering along, I suddenly feel this arm grab my shoulder and yank me back, while a hand comes up around my face trying to yank my ear phones out. "TAKE YOU EAR PLUGS OUT! WANKER! WANKER!"; it was the guy on the bike!

"You nearly killed me because of those EAR PLUGS!" - "Sir, these are only on half volume and besides, it was a red light." He then continues to scream at me, so the touch paper is lit. A stream of fs come out of my mouth and general stuff about "I know you think because you're on two wheels the rules of the road don't apply to you, but if you'd have hit me I could've litigated your arse to high hell". He eventually cycles away, still screaming, but a crowd was gathering and people were threatening to call the police on him. Everyone was very kind and offered to be a witness but I just wanted to get to work.

I turn the corner and there's a low window with two builders hanging out of it, and walking towards me a young lady. They shout practically in her face "Oi oi you slag. I bet you love it don't you!". She was visibly upset, and I walked past shaking my head. "Look at this cunt mate, he's shaking his head!". So I sucked it up, and turned around. "Yeah I am. Because I don't know what 1970s sitcom you feel out of, but abusing people like that isn't fucking on, and besides, do you think that's actually going to work? Have you ever thought that's the reason why you just go home to your squalid house to limp wrist one out over Nuts?".

I could see them about to go for me, but ther site supervisor came over. "What's going on here?" "Oh nothing guv, fuck off to your office mate" - as if woring in an office is some kind of insult! "Cheers I will. I'll work in comfort. Enjoy curvacuture of the spine lads."

All before 9am. Mondays eh.