Where can I find a reasonably priced sledgehammer or chainsaw? See, I just phoned DHL. They tried to deliver something to my house in East London, but they couldn't.

So they stashed my delivery in Middlesex.

In Middlesex.

I phoned them up, I asked if they could redeliver it to my office in central London. They said no, they could only deliver it to my house. I asked why. They said because that centre only serves my area. I bought up the irony of having a delivery company not only refuse to deliver a package, but to do so because the destination was too far away from the depot. The man I was conversing with queried my use of the term 'irony'. He opined it was just simple bullshit. I considered and then agreed.

I'm now taking one of my few days off to go to Middlesex to collect a package from a delivery company too lazy to deliver. I may even charge for collection.

Fuck everyone. Every single day, forever.