Have the vomit bucket handy.

The BBC, without the access to many top sports coverage and recordings, won't be showing any sport at all during this TV show; instead, it will be all chat, and, when I say chat, I mean chat at its most banal lobotomy-inducing level.

If Adrian Chiles is the least unappealing presenter on a TV show then that show is in trouble.

Alien Sue Barker - surely she is not of this planet - could be used by the CIA in the war on terror. Fortunately, this year she doesn't have a inbred royal arse to kiss.