Now we all love a good gig but let's just say - and be honest for crying out loud - it usually is the gigs you least expect or are just 'looking forward to' that really and truly paralyse you with utter utter astonishment. Gigs that you can't stop verbally masturbating about until your tongue fails on 6 out of 10 points usually are a 'bit disappointing wasn't it?', don't you think?

Go on admit it ADMIT IT. I've been to gigs that I was 'blah' about that have left me emotionally haemorrhaged and at least 36 that prior to going to I was stopping milkmen in the street - off duty as well, mind - and saying between bouts of getting my breath back that i was about to attend the defining moment of my life. Which turned out not to be true.

YOURE WRONG/^^THIS (delete as appropriate)