Boards
"I didn't kill her m'lud, I just had sex with her bleeding dead body"
Possibly the most ridiculous excuse I've ever heard:
This chap has tried to explain away the DNA evidence linking him with the murder of a hot young model with the excuse that he just happened to come across her dead mutilated body and as he'd had a few cheeky shandys decided to "take advantage of the situation" and do the bad thing with a corpse.