In case the tabloids need some help -

When things are good:
The Cap fits
Absolutely FABulous
Happy Cappy
'Andy Cap
Cappy Families
Cap-tain Marvellous

When things are bad:
Cap in hand
Mardy 'Pello
Fab loses his ragu
A pizza his mind
Crap-tain marvellous

Suggestions please.
What a load of Cap