...you've dragged a double bass through the bastard at rush hour. I have determined that Londoners have three basic responses to double bass action in the centre of London:

1) "LOL. A BIG BAG."
2) "You've bumped into me. But I'm temporarily confused by the fact that I've never seen such a big bag, I will allow you to go on your way without further comment."
3) "I see you have the instrument of real men. It would be a good idea if we made love at some point in the near future, since real men are what I'm into."