Please. The last two gigs i've been to (Sebadoh and Johnny Foreigner), i've had to move away from wherever i've been standing due to some horrid walloper dropping the most revolting egg clouds. Seriously, i'm talking proper ill stomachs here. Disgusting people who think they can just lay noxious stinkbombs during gigs and nobody's going to care. It makes me so angry. No, we don't want to smell what you've had for dinner, keep it to yourself, grow some manners you utter cretins.

We wouldn't have to worry about these smells though if people were allowed to smoke during gigs again. I'm almost nostalgic for it. I don't even smoke. I find it deeply sad, watching dweeby little losers all huddled together in the cold. Oh, i'm so tense, i need to smoke! Oh life is so hard! Oh pass me a ciggie, i'm gasping for some tar and i look dead cool standing in the rain with my unnatractive skeletal frame poking holes through my tracksuit, oooh. ALL IS FORGIVEN. FARTERS ARE MUCH WORSE.