I now remember why I vowed never to start going to the gym.

My girlfriend asked me to loosen the head rest adjustor on one of the MANTHEFUCKUP machines. I failed. Some guy on the next machine along casually leaned over and instantly undid it with one hand.

Still, I'm sure I have a bigger cock/earn more money/have a better face than him. Right. RIGHT?

I can never go back there.