Well then...with a tremendous lack of foresight on my part spent Glastonbury hooking up with someone from work, with the cheerily optimistic kiss-off as we left on Monday that 'yeah, it won't be awkward on Wednesday'.

Except that it is. It's entire oil tankers of awkward.

First day back and six hours and counting into the working day there has been no greeting. No speaking. No eye contact. Which wouldn't be so bad except we're only 5 metres apart. And I can't help making weird noises whenever I get up and move around - when I went to get a glass of water a half ago I made a weird tongue-clicking sound all the way there and back. She's already deployed the 'looking for something in the handbag all the way from the entrance to the desk' manoeuvre THREE TIMES. The bag is the size of a crisp packet and could only possibly hold 3 items at any one time.

HELP MEEEEEEEEE. My spine is liable to snap at any moment from the tenseness