1) Who the fuck queues up at 5am to get into the Next Sale in some backwater town in Essex? Thanks, guys, I really appreciated having to be at work that early because of you and your lust for cheap kids clothes.

2) The slogan with the new Chelsea shirt:

"Together impossible is nothing".

WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!? Did some advertising jerk off just throw some words at a photocopier? Idiots.

3) Why would you put "No.1 In America" on a Trojan Condom machine? Is there a condom chart? Top Singles? Rubber of the week? Fucking hell, consumerism is a huge load of bullshit.