This is something that has recently been troubling me and even a couple of lone soul-searching walks skimming stones across a lake didn't fully help to ease the nagging in my mind...that I just don't like tits enough.

Sure, I LIKE them. And if there was a topless girl standing directly in front of me I'd definitely fold up my Daily Telegraph and put it onto the arm of the chair and have a look. But your regular caveman would just throw that informative business section in the air and would already have his nose touching the centre point of the two breats screaming 'FLUBBADA-FLUBBADA' in the time it had taken me to lift my halfmoon glasses off the chain around my neck and position them on my nose.

My Pitchfork-style rating for breasts: 4.6. It's not good enough, is it?