" 'Consider this: Do 35 in 30 limit, punishment: £60 and 3 points. Now, the following is true: Fail to stop for Police, travel at 70 in a 30 whilst being chased, reverse into a Police car writing it off, drive through a park, seriously injure insecure passenger in rear of pursued van due to manner of driving, fight with Police when finally stopped. Punishment? £40 more than doing 35 in a 30. Still need to ask the question? Criminals laugh at the rest of us because there is no deterent
[skinnymuppet], United Kingdom'

I saw a bloke doing ALL that and uploading the footage to YouTube WHILST RAPING A HORSE and he got GIVEN a £50 WHSmiths voucher and a hotdog and a large fries and a family-size drink and £50,000 and a fancy hat AND had a ride in a policecar AND he was allowed to wear the policeman’s hat ALL DAY. Meanwhile, the rest of us live in fear of the Zimbabwe Knives Mafia or maybe rocket-propelled paedos. Or muslim homo-speed-cameras. Or something. Anyway, I’m not sure what’s going on but I do know I’m fucking terrified. Or maybe just angry. Or confused. Mark my words."

I got as far as the line 'rocket propelled paedos' before I burst into fits of giggles. Oh, spEak You're bRanes.

Mudhoney were pretty pretty pretty good last night. The Money Will Roll Right In! Hate The Police! A Cover of Black Flag (which I didn't recognise cause the sound was poor and had to be corrected by one of the 40 year olds filing out of The Forum)