We just got new computers at work. Very sexy they are too.

However, our IT man sent round an email before they were installed saying 'If anyone wants an old computer, we'll sell you them for a nominal £2.50 fee'.

The Northern skinflint in me went '£2.50 for a computer! Score!' forgetting that I a) already have a computer almost as bad as this one I now seem to own and b) I have no way of getting it home, being, as I am, six miles and some annoying walking distances away from my house.

Anyone want a computer and monitor? Yours for £3. You have to come and get it yourself.