With his Ray Brooks style vocal chords, harru has agreed to recite a bedtime story. I've provided the opening paragraph...it's up to you to progress the tale further:

''Once upon a time there was a buoyant young teeny-bopper named Bumbler. He wore a coat with buttons of silver, had a head of silken hair and draped his lower body with a pair of Umbro jogging bottoms to conceal his thin, dying ant-legs. He lived in a pastoral, idealic greenland in South-East England in a little known area called ‘Saaafend’’ (Southend). It was full to the brim with loose-goose slags with Lambrini bottles planted firmly into there fannies, and collar-boys with head’s full of Stella and hands full of titty. But dear old thin-wristed Bumbler was on a pilgrimage, so these girls and boys remained fuzzing in his periphery, fingering each other by some cows.,''