Spoilers, but you know, for Hollyoaks, so it doesn't matter quite so much anyway, but, i've said it now, so, you can have stopped reading if any of the almost-surprise elements of this would both you. No one really cares right? Anyways

Niall right. I've missed a few episodes, but how has he managed to consolidate killing Max and dating Steph? I'm a little confused, Steph knows doesn't she? Obvs. The whole thing baffles me.

Anyway, he's gonna go kidnap the whole of the McQueen clan! In a transit van! And for some reason I think Mike is going to get implicated in something seedy relating to Michella as well. Zoe will pull her disgusted face at him.

I'm clutching at straws, I've let my grip on Hollyoaks slip, and now i'm thrashing around gasping for the air of low-budget melodrama.