I was driving through Edinburgh last night when i saw some little pikey cuntfucks running around in the middle of the road up ahead. As i neared the little shits, i noticed that they'd unravelled loads of toilet rolls across the road (one of the major Edinburgh city roads), pulled tight, in front of me. At this point i recalled a news story i'd read about these lads who'd tied a length of electrical wire across another Edinburgh street, in the hope of breaking some guys aerial or something, only for the first vehicle to approach to be a motorbike, resulting in serious neck injuries and smashed bike etc. I suddenly thought that maybe this toilet roll was not then only think spanning the road and that maybe i was about to drive into some kind of car-crash incident (in a car which isn't even mine). Anyways, by now i'd already reached the point of no return and just drove through the paper as if enacting some kind of homage to Herbie Goes Bananas. As i did this, one of the little fuckers, who clearly held on to the paper for too long, screamed and almost fell over, so all was not bad. The guy coming in the other direction was a cabbie who had the misfortune of collecting the now slackened paper all over his car. I bet he was fuming.

So yeah, kids eh?