I've just been looking through my emails and deciding what to delete, what addresses go on the address book etc. And thought some of you bored people might enjoy some of the more unusual emails I've received (as a gig promoter)...

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hi.
i would like to sing at your club
i'm off the map of today's popworld
i've done all the london venues many times
i've seen some of your gigs
i'm trying to do other places
i'm doing solo stuff in various places
a squat in hackney, a squat in new cross, etc.
i did a gig with jerry sadowitz some time last year
i am mentally ill
thank you