Because it has to be done;

AMIDALA AND ANAKIN:
------------------
Where I used to live as a teenager, in sunny Wiltshire, is a small Close where my parents still reside. As I was a teenager growing up, I used to see the children in my street merrily playing, aged 6...7....8....9. Now of course, it's ten years on and they are sexually mature teenagers. There is nothing HOT about this, it is UNNERVING to me and they will always be CHILDREN in my eyes. What's your excuse, Princess A?

HERMIONE AND THAT GINGER KID
----------------------------
Just, no. He looks like one of the Riddlers. And the same point above to anyone who fancies her. IMO you might as well fancy the little girl from Outnumbered! They look exactly the same to me (oddballs)

LEON
----
Too paedoey. I don't like paedoey films. Portman, tone it down.

BARON MUNCHASEN
---------------
Don't give that 11 year old a rose as your future conquest, you manky old tit!

ANYONE IN HOLLYOAKS
-------------------
Watch it when you're feeling blue and it all becomes a horrible, distopian mess. It's like a magic eye, it really resonates when you're at a low point. Cheer yourself up, and watch it in HD. The recently deceased Louise was spectacular viewing in this medium, as every spot and blemish she'd caked over with makeup was in full view. Maybe a few ingrowing hairs too.

For some reason, the show is written in such a confusing mess; eg - He's a psycho, he hits his girlfriend! Wait, feel sorry for him, he's just repeating his own abuse from his evil stepdad. Actually, no time for that story, too complex. He's a total twat. Oh, they broke up. Um.. now he's part of an endearing odd-couple comedy act! No, actually, he is a cunt. Sorry for all that.

The only endearing relationship remains with Elliot and his love for Sci Fi. Are we really that far from seeing Dom and Tony get it on? (yes, but I can dream)

EDGE/LITA/MATT HARDY
Still sceptical about this... my fellow DiS wrestling fans will understand. Google it or Youtube it or something. One of the most undignified things anyone has ever done for money. But in WWE, that's by the by. Especially when the former is now an onscreen lover with a grieving widow who is marketed as a hate figure.

BILL MURRAY AND STARLET JOHANNSEN
---------------------------------
Yes, I know i'm going to get flamed for this. Nice movie and all... Tokyo's sexy. Kevin Shields is sexy. Hey, I like the Murray Man just as much as anyone, and she is hot to trot. But if I wanted a combo of hot people and funny people in movies, I'd be begging Film 4 to make a gangbang video with Nicky Hambleton Jones, Adam and Joe and the cast of Garth Marenghi. Moreso that I already do.

Yours please!