i've been wondering if i have this. i have frequent periods of extremely intense depression - no energy, no motivation, despondency, tiredness, self-destructive behaviour etc. very often can't even bear to open my mouth to speak or lift my head to look at something.

then there's the other side - periods of wonder and wide-eyed amazement and uncontainable joy and a fascination with everything around me. proper 'i love the world' stuff where i find myself wanting to see everything and do everything and spend loads of money and do frivolous because naturally everything will be fine! naturally this is coupled with a total inability to concentrate and a very short temper and other times of reckless behaviour.

i've had various issues with depression and anxiety in the past but these mood swings are getting really difficult to handle. they just come on without much warning and completely take me over. jekyll and hyde stuff. i'll do ridiculous things and plan ridiculous things when i'm 'up' which i then find myself having to deal with when i'm 'down'.

why am i asking this on an internet messageboard and not going to a doctor? well, i am going to a doctor in a few days but frankly my doctor's a cunt and makes me feel like a fucking moron whenever i go in there and so would feel a little better if i knew a bit more about what i suspected i may have before going to him. so yeah, anyone got any experience with this thing? does it sound like bipolar disorder or have i just spent too much time on the internet?

feel free to post witty, mocking responses. i don't care.