AILMENT: slight pain in the palm of my right hand
CAUSE: joueing au babyfoot last night, I got overexcited when trying to executea tricky right-winger-to-centre-forward-slam-it-in-the-net manouevre and pretty much pierced my hand
CONSEQUENCE: I almost just dropped a mug of tea; eating with a knife and fork this evening might be more tricky than normal.

AILMENT: left foot agony
CAUSE: Attempting to correct a symmetry imbalance in where my feet point I seem to have overcorrected, and put my left foot into an unnatural position, purely so it looked parallel to my right for a bit
CONSEQUENCE: not only is my left foot pointing 5-10 degrees out from dead straight and therefore not parallel with my right, I'm now also walking with a stupid semi-limp

AILMENT: twitchy eye
CAUSE: I need some more sleep
CONSEQUENCE: the chap in the 'paper shop this morning thinks I winked at him.

NOW YOU GO.