who went on for ages about how I should never take heroin, how he's been attacked by machetes and how he's a psychologist. Also came out with a genuinely poetic observation, when pointing at my head and feet that "up here is for thinking, down there is for dancing". Wouldn't shut up about his obviously fantasy wife and how he hates homosexuals. touched my lips and slapped me on the arse when i left

Also present crazy anti-Semitic, German-hating, Italian-hating, Russian-hating Polish artist doing who showed us his H.R Geiger-esque drawings in minute details. Tried to crush my hand, for real, before we left.

I am never going to a Sam Smiths pub in York again