1. Send an email to a colleague with a copy and pasted picture of a cup of tea. Write something like 'URGENT!' in the subject line.

2. Access a colleague's outlook calendar and book in a meeting for them called 'Make Me A Cup Of Tea You Massive Bastard'.

3. 'Ting' your pen or pencil against your mug.

4. Go round the office collecting everyone's mug on a tray and then dump it on a colleague's desk and say 'Cheers'.

5. Shout 'I'M SPITTING FEATHERS HERE!!'

6. Threaten to resign unless someone makes you a cup of tea.

All of these are 100% guaranteed to get you a cup of tea.