Seeing as this grotesque charade gets lapped up to the tune of billions, variously by plane-pointers, libraryphobes and people's mums, do you think I could get away with a regular Alectryomancy column, where I place a cockerel in a chalk circle drawn in the floor of a town square (maybe Hoxton Square), aggressively shout birth months at it and record which letters of the alphabet it takes the grain from, then put it on a blog on a weekly basis.

D'you think, the following month people would be like "Oh my God - That's just what The Cock said ...'AXKLFUMSDRBS' and my job interview is at The Royal Bank of Scotland - I'll breeze through!"