http://www.guardian.co.uk/culture/2009/apr/25/screen-burn-apprentice-charlie-brooker

Highlights include:
(Re. Ben from The Apprentice) ''He looks like Top Cat with stubble. Or a He-Man figurine with the head of a six-year-old girl. Where's his neck? Has he got a neck? His head seems to be growing straight out of his chest cavity, like an emergent conjoined twin suddenly gasping for your attention. ''

AND

(Re. Philip from The Apprentice) ''He looks like he throws himself roughly on to the bed each night, hungrily moving his hands all over his own body, trying to kiss himself deep in the mouth. ''

Hurrah!