Yes, stories from the pub.

1. On Friday I was playing pool. I think to smash them up good and proper from the break though I was a little too tipsy to control the white properly. I leathered it at the pack and it shot up off the head ball and nail some poor girl in the back off the leg. I was both proud and shocked. "I don't think you should play anymore pool she said." I laughed and continued with my game.

2. I was in our extremely shit nightclub at the weekend and went for a pee. It was bloody disgusting, an inch of piss on the floor, sick and all the bogs and sinks, toilet roll everywhere, i think i even seen some poo. i thought "fuck this, people need to see this!" and i got my phone out and started videoing the rotten ceiling and the rest of the shit hole. "are you taking photos of your cock? hey billy, that ginge is taking photos of his cock!!!" said the bloke that walked in. Hmm.

My stories are boring. Tell me good stories from the pub please.