My mate's birthday was on Tuesday, and it appears that the same day her fiance / girlfriend of 8 years broke up with her.

I'm a typical bloke in these situations. Do you just sit all ears? Do you call them, or just text to say "if you need me, you know where i am"? Do you say "she was a cunt who looked like a mangled placenta anyway - you're better off without her"?

Help, oh sensitive ones....