at my wedding
it's going to be on some needlessly novel location
-in a clock tower, or a 113 year old cargo vessel, or anywhere with virtually no facilities.
-everyone will be obliged to wear elaborate 'highland dress' or tube tops (including children)
-there will be no wine served, only fosters, cider, and smirnoff ice
-steak pie will be served along with roll an' tattie scone, bacon, and sausage canopies
-the will be a dj specialising in tiesto dance remixes of all my favourite songs
-my new bride and i will drunkenly demand that all the staff leave the staff room so we can have private time
-the organiser will get steaming drunk and will try to get off the waiters
-some of us will try and bump cans out the bar
-one of my relatives shall willingly take alcohol with her medication, will inevitably go in to a seizure, and will be taken away in a stretcher to the ambulance with the whole party piling out ahead, oblivious