Grand Theft Auto IV: Your controls are sluggish, the police AI lacks any hint of development from the last gen, your weapons are boring, the cars handle too realistically, etc, but Goddamn, you're so handsome. Everyone likes you, or says they do. And I can't help but smile when I hit the front bumper of a car and the driver pops through, spraying blood and brain matter across my windshield.

Command Conquer 3: You're addictive, like heroin. You help me forget my troubles, like heroin. But you leave me feeling impotent when I'm forced to watch the enemy overrun my base and fuck me righteously. Like heroin.

The Darkness: For the same reasons as GTA, really. Good concept but mediocre execution.

You?