Bradford:
"If you hang about in the city centre for long enough, whilst wearing bright orange trousers with a green coat with purple and green stripes patterned on them, you will attract a rare species of bee that feeds on human emotion. Luckily though, if you are from the Bradford area, you are most likely already dead inside. Therefore, the species of bee will hover round for a while, fall into a deep state of depression and fly to McDonalds and eat fifteen happy meals. Of course, even the happy meals have been sucked dry of their happy, so no matter how many happy meals you eat, the only thing you will achieve is a state of confusion, anxiety and a strange sense of content, as the cold meat and 5 month old fries are digested slowly in your stomach. "