Whether you're a girl trying on some lacy pants and a peephole bra in La Senza and the busty shop assistant enters the changing room offering to measure you up (how I imagine it happens for girls) or whether you're a bloke who has gone down the pub to watch the football with mates after a good session down the gym, and you've gone back home with a kebab with your best pal and you've put Brokeback Mountain on for something to do (how I imagine it happens for blokes).

And I'm sure we've all given deep thought to what rules we would apply to life if we were gay; I for one would camp it up to the point where Graham Norton would look like Andrew Dice Clay.

However, I realised over the weekend that if I were gay I couldn't be with someone that shared my name (sorry, thewarn). Shouting "Oh Ben, oh, Ben... JACKPOT!" on the vinegar stroke would just sould a bit weird, like I was congratulating myself or something. My ego wouldn't allow it.

So I guess my question is, sex with someone that has the same christian name as you; bit strange, right?