Self-inflicted scenarios of controlled humiliation and abuse

• Go to bed two hours later and wake up two hours earlier than you should
• Piss yourself in a public place, wearing trousers that will show evidence of this “accident” – tell the people around you what you’ve done
• Anally penetrate yourself using a beer bottle lubricated with only your own spit
• Go to a sex club, drug your drink and take advantage of yourself
• Walk barefoot across a bed of hot coals or glass without receiving the proper training to endure the pain
• Direct a variety of racial slurs at people of different races who are several times bigger and stronger than you in order to goad them into beating you up
• Book a table for two at a romantic restaurant on Valentine’s Day and don’t invite a date to come along – gaze longingly at the door; request a bottle of champagne upon reserving a table; pick a restaurant that will have a violinist serenading couples

What would you suggest that are included neither here nor in the song?

(Made possible by Pissed Jeans)