...took one bite and became convinced I was hallucinating the garlic sausage pizza and the lovely home surroundings, and was in fact being held prisoner in a cellar underneath the streets of Baghdad, where a burly fellow with personal hygiene issues named Abu Akwari was forcing my mouth open with steel tongs and farting his rotting colon into my mouth.

Long story short, I feel ripped off. You can't exactly return a pizza sans a mouthful, though, can you?

How have you been ripped off this week?