Me. Lounging gauchely in a provincial Coffee Republic with a hazlenut latte in my hand and leisure on my mind. Me. Jabbering away on my Wasp T10 Speech Tool which I'm synching with my Macbook whilst pensioners look on with a blend of bewilderment and irritation. Me. Commenting on Vikram's blog about pre-teen lingerie trends in Osaka. Me. Staring at a webcam that shows nothing, but for the look of profound disappointment on a dog's face when you wave a Pepperami in front of it, then eat it (the Pepperami, not the dog). Me. Cultivating a designer beard whilst contemplating overpriced knitwear in shades of mustard and plum. Me.

So, what are the chances of me becoming what TheDailyBumbler rather brilliantly describes as 'Slimline armchair bandits dawdling on the internet, taking photos of their scarf'?

I'd like to think VERY high.

...and I slagged Apple off on this website THIS VERY WEEK, revel in the hypocrisy.