I'm queuing at the nice sandwich shop near work. Now I don't know about you but I'll ask for the sandwich, keeping my order close to what's written on the menu. Occasionally I'll waver on my pronunciation, i.e "Provolone" but I've not got much beef with the "HCCCoooREETHO" crowd, even though I'm a "Chorizo" man myself...that's not what this is about. No

SO...matey orders a ciabatta..

"I'll take...Sun Blush, Goats...and Parma please"

No, sorry FUCK that...Not having that.

Order a ciabatta with "Sun blushed tomato, goats cheese and parma ham" not that fucking monstrosity of abbreviation that came out of your mouth.

I think this is symptomatic of that noughties trend of having to be stomach-churningly savvy about every new dickhead venture spewed by the free papers.

No not that any of those ingredients fall into that category but this idiotic bumming of ephemeral Buzzworded crap: It's seen an upsurge hasn't it?

Maybe it's the internet.

Close the internet.

Hang on what am I talking about? Why is Bamos winking at me?